Day 57: Stepping Out

Last night was great. It was really awesome getting a chance to hang out with Tyler and Paul. I love being around creative people because it ignites a flame in me that seems to have flickered a bit slower as of recent. Tyler is one of the more creative people I know and it really gets me thinking when I am around him.

I realized that over the course of the past two years I have become more sheltered with my ideas and lackadaisical about actively turning them into reality. I have fallen in to a menial existence that is predicated on making a check to pay the months bills only to worry about the next ones. I am counting days until money arrives in order to try to get through the difficult ones at hand. Is this really living??? I say no!

I have to come to realize that I am so worried about tomorrow that I am forgetting about today. I don't mean to take away from any of the things I have said about forward thought and goal setting. I merely am trying to draw a line to differentiate the good forethought from the very bad.

I have also come to realize that the only way I can fix this situation is to open my eyes and step out of  the line I have been so begrudgingly trudging. I think a perfect way to start is to take a look at some of the creative projects I have in my life and starting to put a bit more effort into seeing them to fruition.

I think I have been a bit scared to put myself out there for a while ( there is a back-story... I will get to it), and the fear of failure is sitting at the head of my emotional class. I have to get around this! I have to find my fire again!

I guess the only thing to do is to beat back that fear (which has never been a problem for me previously), and find a way to remember the person I once was. I definitely know he is still there someplace. So, I am stepping out! I am removing myself from the line and I am choosing a different path. I am not sure where that path will take me, but hopefully it will be in the right direction. I am not quitting my job and moving to Paris! No no... I would definitely choose London if I was going to do something that crazy! I am, however, going to put myself back out there!I guess the best way to put is... in order to effect change in one's life one needs to change.

Here's to change